If you keep up with celebrity pregnancies, you know that some famous kids end up with incredibly weird names. Apple, Suri, and North are just some of the more topical names that celebrity parents bestowed upon their children. While these names are certainly odd, people in the 19th century took naming children to the extreme.
Genealogists uncovered records for 19th-century Britain and, boy, were those parents cruel to their children! They gave them some of the weirdest and sometimes grossest names history has ever seen. Expecting parents take note: do not use any of these, or your child will hate you later on.
1. Friendless Baxter was a boy born in 1871. I sure hope his name didn”t prevent him from making friends.
2. Faith Hope Charity was born in 1889. Her parents were trying to make sure she knew which virtues were important.
3. Ann Bertha Cecilia Diana Emily Fanny Gertrude Hypatia Iug Jane Kate Louisa Maud Nora Orphelia Quince Rebecca Starkey Teresa Ulysis Venus Winifred Xenophen Yetty Zeus was born in 1883. That”s one name for each letter of the alphabet except for P. Well, her last name was Pepper. Nailed it.
4. Clifton Antivaccination. Born in Kent in 1879, his parents made sure to let everyone know their stance on vaccinations.
5. Cleft Megson was born in 1842 in Horncastle, Lincoln. He was named “Cleft” because…well, we”re guessing he had a cleft palate.
6. King Arthur (no, not the King Arthur) was born in 1885 in North Hampton.
7. In 1875, some cruel parents gave their child the name Zebra because their last name was Lynes. Get it? Zebra Lynes?
8. Thats It Whod Have Thought It Restell was born in 1886. This person would later change his name to George.
9. Mineral Waters was the name given to a girl in 1882. I guess her parents were health nuts.
10. Leicester Railway Cope was named as such because that was where he was born in 1863.
11. When the Day family had their first child in 1899, they named him “Time Of.” Yes, the boy”s name was Time Of Day.
12. One Too Many Gouldstone was named after his parents apparently had one too many in 1870. He would later go by Robert Gouldstone.
13. Windsor Castle is the name of a little girl named in 1876. When your last name is Castle, how could you not do that?
(via Buzzfeed, Daily Mail)
Aren”t you glad you have a normal name? Sure, Steve, John, or Amanda may seem like a boring name, but would you rather have one of these wacky names? I didn”t think so. I think it”s time to give your parents a call and thank them for giving you a normal name, and not one name for every letter in the alphabet.